I've done something silly. I've done something I know I'm going to regret. I've done something that could only cause flaming red cheeks and sweaty palms.
I've agreed to stand in front of a group of Grade 6 students tomorrow and the next day for an hour.
I guess I won't just be standing there. I'm actually going to be teaching them how to write a news story. But that might be worse because it means I have to talk to the little monsters.
I don't know how to relate to Grade 6 students. How old are they anyway? Like 11? 12?
I honestly don't even know. But what I do know is, I'm terrified.
There is going to be a room full of beady little eyes looking up at me -- or depending on if they stand up, looking me straight in the eye. My stomach is turning just thinking about it.
I haven't spoken in front of a group of people since my last week of journalism school more than a year ago and for that, I had to drink a couple of beers first, just to calm the nerves.
I considered that as an option, but somehow I don't think drinking at 9 a.m. tomorrow and Friday before talking to a room full of impressionable pre-teens is the best plan.
Thinking back on that experience, I know it's not the best plan. I think I actually opened that presentation saying, "So basically we're a big deal."
I was talking about myself and two classmates who had caused quite a stir in the online world with our final online journalism project.
At least in that instance I was talking to my peers, though. This time, I have to come up with some pop culture references that the kids will dig.
I was thinking, in the fake story that I write, I'll name the people involved Justin Bieber and Miley Cirus, but in all honesty, I'm not sure if that would age me. Are those two still relevant?
I'm starting to think this was a really bad decision. I don't think you should send a jaded 24-year-old journalist, who never wants kids and doesn't particularly like having anything to do with them, into a classroom. This is destined for failure. If nothing else, I think I'll end up swearing or saying something inappropriate and then I'll be booted into the hallway like a obnoxious child.
I hope they have a corner ready for my nose, or some chalk brushes in need of cleaning.