Monday, July 9, 2012

Things I don't understand #4

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1. Couples who walk with their arms around each other. Is there any less comfortable way to propel yourself forward? Honest to goodness, I absolutely refuse to partake in this ridiculous form of transportation. I would rather not touch at all than feel like I'm bumping into my partner as if we're doing that dance move where you bump hips. So brutal. The dance definitely isn't cool, so why is it cool to do it out on the street for an extended period of time? It's just so damn inefficient! I mean, you all know how I feel about slow walkers. Have you ever seen a couple tangled together like this move quickly? I can assure you that I sure haven't.


2. People who bring tuna salad sandwiches to work. First of all, I hate tuna. I think it's pretty disgusting, so obviously I'm already offended and confused by it. But even so, I think anyone and everyone must hate it when their co-worker or classmate pulls out their lunch and inside there is a stinky, make you want to vomit, tuna sandwich in there. The smell, whether you like tuna or not, is just so damn potent. It can overpower an entire office or classroom and linger there all goddamn day. Is that fair to the people around you? Hell no. So eat your stinky-ass sandwiches at home.

3. Why my herbs won't grow. My garden is doing pretty awesome, as you'll see later this week, but for some reason, my herbs just won't grow. The worst part about their lack of  growing power is that I've planted them TWICE. The first time, I waited three weeks for something to spring through the soil, but nothing happened. So I waited one more week and then decided to plant again. It's been two and a half weeks since then and still nothing has popped up. I just don't get it. They're being watered regularly and they have tons of sunshine. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, and, to be honest, I'm getting discouraged.

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4. Why there's already a new Spiderman and why Mary Jane is suddenly blonde. OK, I get that it's been 10 years since Tobey Maguire made his first appearance as Spiderman, but really, 10 years isn't that long. It's just too soon to start from the beginning again. And not only that, it's totally uncalled for to ruin Mary Jane by making her blonde. Don't get me wrong, I think Emma Stone is, like, the coolest, but dammit, she should be a redhead. There are enough blondes in the world. I get that we're supposed to see them as superior or whatever, but honestly, they're not. Redheads are just as hot, as are brunettes. So stick with the original, please.

UPDATE: I have just been informed by my partner-in-fashion Jill that Emma Stone isn't actually Mary Jane. Sorry for misleading all of you into believing she's an imposter. And thanks to Jill for catching my error. I guess I should watch the movie before I judge it, eh!? Ah, you live and you learn.

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5.  How sunscreen can be sweatproof. Does sweatproof mean the sunscreen is clogging all of your pores and forcing you to stay uber hot because you're body is unable to sweat? Is that not a disgusting and somewhat unsafe thought? It seems to me that just can't be healthy. When I was in the grocery store buying my first bottle of SPF 45 sunscreen on the weekend, I had the option of sweatproof and waterproof or just waterproof. The thought of sweating on the inside made me go with straight up waterproof. (I'm happy to report I made it through two trips to the lake without a burn. Hooray for sunscreen!)

Well folks, that's all for today. You can find the first three "Things I don't understand" posts here, here and here.

What has struck you as not quite right this week? Anything you want to add to my ever-expanding list?

19 comments:

  1. i just saw spiderman last night, and it was really good (too long, but good). emma stone actually plays gwen stacey and not mary jane! it's a different girl from the amazing spiderman series. so that explains the blonde. :)

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  2. This post made me laugh! I found you through Gentri Lee's blog and I'm so glad I did!

    I agree with you on the tuna sandwiches... I hate it when someone brings tuna or eats any sort of fish in the office.

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  3. Yes to the drapey couples! Drives me mad! Can't stand slow walkers and so slow walking doubled up with copious over the top PDA makes my blood boil. On a similar note, can't stand couples who forget they are in public in general. I was once baricaded into my seat on the train because a couple were too busy draping and petting to notice they had blocked the entrance. Yuck.

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  4. I have a huge problem with tuna eaters in the office. I hate tuna so much Matt's not even allowed to eat it unless I'm out of the house. Blech!

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  5. lol YES to couple with their arms around each other. it is just SO not comfortable! i don't get it!

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  6. I was just about to jump on that Spidey bit! Haha. The reason they're rebooting it already is because they want to continue to bring all the Marvel movies together so they can do The Avengers movies, and Tobey Maguire no longer wanted to be a part of it. The direction they're going in this time seems to be a lot more promising as far as the storyline goes. I love the first trilogy because it's Spider-Man, but it wasn't really all the great, and I can't wait to see the new one.

    *is coompletely obsessed with Spider-Man*

    And I completely agree with that couple crap. Only time that works successfully is when incredibly hammered and used as a means to keep each other standing.

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  7. I think sweat proof just means it won't wear off when you sweat. Haha! It shouldn't clog your pores like that, they couldn't do that. But regular sunscreen may clog your pores on your face. Do I'd get a separate sunscreen for my face. :)
    (just an aesthetician's point of view)

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  8. GUH, seriously! Another thing that drives me nuts is the couples that walk down the street with their hands shoved in the others' back pockets... have you seen that before? It's so creepy and possessive.


    Kayla ☆ http://www.kaylanaut.com

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  9. So glad I found you at Gentri Lee's blog, this piece is brilliant! I am someone who gets extremely frustrated at slow walkers, but I do admit to walking with my boyfriend's arm around me... BUT I fit perfectly under his arm when wearing flats, so it's comfortable and we can still walk fast! Heels are a different story though: that just doesn't work!

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  10. Hahaha, this post is hilarious. I love that it's a post literally dedicated to rants against silly things. I've definitely been the couple before, but usually it lasts like 30 seconds before I can't handle it and quit :-P

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  11. Found your blog from Gentri's :)

    I just laughed out loud at the first picture and caption.. I completely agree with you.. It is so uncomfortable!!

    I'm your newest follower!
    followme@ www.studentswife.com

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  12. Couples. Please take note of this rant. Do not drape your arms around one another. It's awkward for you and it's even more awkward for us. Especially avoid the whole guy's arm around the girl's neck thing. I HATE that. Subconsciously he's trying to choke her or put her in a head lock. Not loving.

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  13. Wow, so glad I found your cute blog from Gentri's! This post is all too relevant.. I don't get the excessive PDA or people bringing stinky tuna to work! Save that for the comfort of your own home (both) haha

    xo Shane

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  14. I can not STAND people walking with their arms around each other. Or when you see someone walking behind their girlfriend with their arms around her. It comes off as posessive to me. Super annoying. And I'm guilty today of the tuna sandwich at work. I hate taking them for the very same reason you pointed out...but I had absolutely nothing else to take today. Payday needs to hurry up and get here!

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  15. I literally think you should write a book! :) hahah i absolutely adore your writing style, I'm always smiling when I read it! hahahhaha but yes, I mean that is such an awkward way to walk!

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    1. Dude, this has got to be one of the nicest comments I've ever received! Thank you so much!

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  16. Friend! I have come from a distant land called GentriLee. I come bearing lots of laughter. Specifically laughter at this post.


    I am so glad you are BOW! I am pretty frackin' sure that we are going to be friends. I'm juuuust saying. And I think its because of the Blossom outfit and boot soup.

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  17. nice posting.. thanks for sharing.

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  18. Maybe it's the fact we sway the same why, and I have hips and he doesn't. We rarely do it, but when we do, we never trip over each other, and it's for those special small bursts of 'so in love.' Although I can't understand boys with their arms around their girls from behind, now that is impossible to walk. (Side note: We never clog traffic and we're not slow. Boy's a New Yorker so we definitely know the meaning of haste. Exception to the rule? We hope so.)

    I definitely do NOT understand this newfangled Spider-Man movie. So I probably won't see it till long after it's out on DVD.

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