Sunday, September 16, 2012

My thoughts on feet

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Can we just talk about how disgusting feet are for one short minute? I'll start and you can fill in the blanks later. Sound good? Yeah? OK. Perfect. So, here's a confession for you, I have a complete, undying hatred and disgust for the revolting things that flop around at the end of our legs. I don't know where my loathing came from, but it's been around awhile.

I will admit, though, my foot phobia is slowly lessening with age. I mean, if I'm wearing sandals or flats, I don't bring socks to my friends' houses anymore. For a long time, that was a thing. I'd have a pair of colourful socks in my purse, just in case I'd have to take my shoes off somewhere. I couldn't even deal with the thought of people looking at my feet. And don't even get me started on touching them. Well, you've gone and done it now. It's on my mind, so I'm just going to have to deal with that little issue right here and now.

OK. Here's the deal. If you meet me IRL, do not, I repeat, DO NOT touch my feet. I will seriously throw the biggest tantrum you have ever seen from a nearly 26-year-old woman. I swear to you, shit gets crazy. There will be limbs flying willy nilly, hitting you where you'd rather not be hit. Obscenities will be screamed and will then quickly be replaced with the silent treatment once the touching has ceased.

Moral of the story, my feet are totally off limits. They are for me and only me to touch and, let me tell you, that doesn't happen all that often. They get washed once a day. They are put into shoes or socks and shoes and then they are ignored for the rest of the day. They are like the stinky, moldy food at the back of your fridge that you pretend doesn't exist because you fear washing out the Tupperware container. If I could, I'd throw my feet in the trash, like I would that Tupperware, but I can't. You see, I kind of need them and they're sort of attached to my body. So, I find the best way to deal with my foot hatred is to just deal with and look at them as little as possible. Oh! And I also buy cute socks and shoes to disguise them with. That way I can look down at them and resist the urge to vomit.

So, how about you? Are you into feet? Or do you have any weird phobias the Internet should know about?

9 comments:

  1. UAAGAGAAGAHHHH, what the heck is up with that picture? EWWWWW. Besides that super gross visual, I'm actually totally fine with feet. But I cannot STAND when people pull my toes. For some reason countless people have pulled my toes (to pop them like people crack their knuckles or something) because they'll think I'll like it. Wtf?? Stay away!

    I understand the tantrum throwing though. This happens when people try to tickle me.. I think they've learned though. Last person to tickle me got a broken nose because I 'reflexively' kneed him in the face. Sorry boyfriend....

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  2. Feet are right nasty and I fully agree with you! It's why I haven't owned a pair of sandals since I was a child and my mother made all my footwear choices for me. I can't even stand open-toed shoes no matter how awesome they are. People tend to think my feet are the only ticklish part of my body on account of how I react when they're touched, but no, I just hate it.

    Team feet are nasty!

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  3. baha! That was funny. Funny and sad, I guess. Too bad you hate something that's fearlessly navigates you through life.. and funny, cuz you are! I'm just 'meh' with the feet debate. I'm not one of those bloggers that takes a gazillion shots of my feet in every shoe I own... but they show up once and awhile. (Wait, do OTHER people's feet creep you out? If so, sorry for that shot of mine on the blog recently! lol)! I think the feet'ish folk are pretty hilarious.. they once asked a blogger bud to post shots of her feet in coffee beans.. and mud... um, what?!
    Guess you won't have 'grape-stomping' as one of your to do lists before 26 then eh?
    mel ;o)
    needle and nest design

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  4. Up until that photo I would've said I was fine with feet, but I kind of want to change my answer now! I actually have a full on phobia of heat/burning, and no one ever believes me. It's hard to describe but basically, it took me years to be comfortable pulling things out of the oven. And now, if I watch you put a pan into an oven that has been off all day, and two seconds later you ask me to take it out, I'll use oven mitts. Or I'll burst out in tears. It's weird, I know, but it's the truth.

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  5. I agree, I hate feet. I never want anyone to see my feet. I actually wrote a post about my lifelong battle with my feet earlier in the summer. As a runner, they are extra disgusting, but a lot of other runners have gross feet so I don't feel as bad about it haha.

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  6. that photo! ah! hahaha!
    I do not like feet. But, in my line of work, I have to be trained on pedicures. Sick. I will avoid them at all costs when looking for jobs. I'm not good at them anyways.
    and I'll keep the no touching your feet rule in mind for when i visit. It'll be hard to resist the urge.

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  7. I hate my feet. I have a toe nail that is some medical oddity. The nail came off when I was about 15, and it grew back all crazy. It gave me problems and I had it surgically removed. TWICE! And they put the silver acid stuff so it wouldn't come back and it DID. TWICE! Shit is cray!
    But I'm always hiding it behind my other foot should I happen to be wearing sandals in front of other people.
    I have foot shame.

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  8. I love feet. LOVE. THEM.

    I have the cutest toes ever. Like, in the history of the world. I show them off as often as I can, and wear sandals until the snow flies.

    My parents have the world's ugliest feet....I can only hope that trait skips a couple of generations!

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  9. As an ex-ballerina, I was subjected to some gnarly-ass-lookin' feet on a daily basis, so I kinda grew a tolerance. However, some people should just not wear sandals. Seriously.

    Thank goodness I did very little pointe work (that crazy on-the-tippy-toes stuff you see ballerinas do!) so I managed to escape with my pretty feet intact and dainty...

    At any rate, you are definitely not alone -- I think there are more people who are anti-feet than pro- or indifferent to feet! Makes sense, too. I've even met some dancers who are eeked out by them... and these are people whose feet are their most valuable asset!

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