Monday, October 1, 2012

(*It's back!*) Things I just don't understand

I know. I know. I've definitely neglected this little feature of mine. But, here I am today trying to make up for my failings (mostly because Mel left me a comment asking if this feature was ever coming back. Thanks for the reminder, pal!).

So, anyway, here are a few more things to add to the list of things I just don't understand.

1. People who refuse to move. Do you ever walk down a busy sidewalk and encounter people who walk directly for you, without moving an inch out of your way, causing you to dodge them as if you were a matidore with a red cape? I hate that! I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. It's just so gosh darn rude. Who are you to expect me to deke around you? Come on, you inconsiderate douche bag. Just move!


2. One uppers. You know what I'm talking about right? The guy who can always top your story with a better story. I hate that. If I did something awesome and I'm super pumped about it, don't rain on my parade with an 'I'm better than you. Take that!' story. I don't want to hear it. Also, no one likes you, so just sod off.


3. Fanny packs. Are those coming back? I swear to the fashion gods that I saw an otherwise super stylish woman walking down the street with a really tacky fanny pack the other day. If you ask me, ponch pouches need to disappear forever. They are just so gross. What's wrong with a purse? Like seriously, they've served us well for years. Let's not revert back to this horrendous stage in fashion history. You know, expect for when you're dressing up for a 90s party. I definitely made mine look good when I dressed as Blossom. There's just no denying that. But, for real life, fanny packs need to be chucked in a massive pile and burned, like they used to do with blasphemous books. Are you with me?


4. Bi-facial relationships. Have you heard of these? I just read a guest post on Northern Exposure about this. Basically, a bi-facial relationship is when one person is way hotter than the other person in the relationship. Like, for instance, the girl is a 10 and the guy is a four. (My belief is it's always the girl who is hotter. I say that because I have never seen an ugly girl with a really hot guy. BUT I have definitely seen ugly guys with really hot women.) So anyway, why are women willing to date unattractive men, but men aren't willing to date unattractive or less attractive women? What's that about? Isn't it what's in the inside that's important, people? And if not, why are sexy ladies settling for icky men?

That's it for this edition. Anything you'd add to the list?


  1. 1. I also hate it when people are in an obviously high traffic area (the exit of a grocery store, a popular food festival in town, etc.) and they just stop. And usually there is a group of them, because idiots travel in packs, and they are all completely oblivious to the fact that they are in EVERYONE's way and would give you a funny look if you brought it up.

  2. 2. We Moms call it "Mompetition" when it rears its ugly head in our circle. Facebook is famous for it. "My kid is cutting his first tooth." "Well my kid was teething in the womb and can already say his alphabet forwards and backwards and is busy working on his senior thesis in experimental math."

    Or the "best job in the world" Mompetition where Moms try to out do each other with the terrible SHIT they put up with everyday as a mom. "Little Johnny pooped all over me today." "Well, Little Bart threw up all over the couch and just as I had finished cleaning it up, he pooped all over the couch, and the floor, and my favourite Walmart sweater. Oh well. I hate having nice things but I love being a job in the world".

    There are whole websites dedicated to making fun of this phenomenon.

  3. 3. I have nothing against fanny packs.

  4. 4. I had never heard the term "bi-facial relationship" until I read that same post. And I had a good chuckle! There are about a billion things I could say to this, and most of the ones coming to mind right now are in bad taste (I'm sure...) so I'm going to just shut my mouth right now.

    Good list, by the way.

    1. hehe... I think it's awesome you just did this in four separate comments! ;o) Silly lady.

  5. Things I don't get: Why women go to the gym in full hair and make-up. I can understand that they came straight from work, but go wash your face. It is SO bad for your skin to break that kind of sweat through make-up on a daily basis.
    Also, I ran across a picture of myself circa 1989 with a neon pink fanny pack and I ripped it up in shame! I like to pretend that part of my life doesn't exist.

  6. YAYYYY FAVORITE. You have no idea how much I can't stand trying to navigate sidewalks. Travelling to and from San Francisco five days a week, it never ceases to blow my mind how AWFUL PEOPLE ARE AT SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS WALKING. Like, standing in the middle of sidewalks. Slamming right into you as though you were invisible (and of course they look at you like it's YOUR fault that you didn't tuck and roll out of their way). Taking up the whole damn sidewalk. Going "against the grain" (am I the only one who feels like there should be similar "you walk on the right side of the sidewalk" rules, like driving?). Literally stepping on heels because *clearly* you have way more important places to be than the rest of us.

    Trying to navigate through people is pretty much the worst part of any day for me. I guess that means I'm doing alright...

  7. Yay, I love these posts! They're awesome. Make more please :D

    I've heard of bi-facial relationships before. Here's my theory: Nerdy, "icky" guys tend to pay more attention to girls and have them on a pedestle. That's why I think girls are more willing to go for them. Because they treat them like queens! :) I saw a really gorgeous guy with an unattractive, chunky girl once. . it is strange to look at, but I figured that she must have an amazing personality & takes really good care of him.

    I also hate it when people don't move, omg!! For a really short girl, I walk REALLY fast and I can't stand it when people block your way & don't care. I always apologize, at least.

    xo, Adriana.

  8. This is awesome! I agree with all of the above, number 1 especially. Like when you are walking in a store and the person in front of you just stops, dead center of the aisle and really isn't doing anything. Or the guy in the airport that walked straight into me because he was galavanting to the side instead of looking straight ahead. People who live in their own bubbles.

  9. Honestly people have absolutely no spacial awareness sometimes. That's why I will never. NEVER. enjoy Time Square. Especially around Christmas time. It seems like the only people that inhabit that part of New York City are people who simply cannot get out of other people's way. It makes me want to throw down.

  10. Ahhhhh, you're 'back'. Thanks for being so obliging! lol. I hear you on the first point, and I'll one-up it (hah) by saying how it's even more frustrating when you're walking towards someone, and you both awkwardly keep side-stepping in the same direction. Side-note, I did this once with an oncoming galloping horse.. truly frightening (turns out, I lived to tell).

    Secondly, what's even more awkward than fanny packs? The fact that on the other side of the world that would be interpreted as "vagina bag".. so they prefer the much better name for them: "Bum-bags". Yes. That's a vast improvement.

    I STILL need to write one of these, thanks for the reminder ol' buddy ol' pal.
    needle and nest design

  11. 1. Yes. Grrrrrr! This drives me crazy. This and queue jumping. I have taken to loudly tutting!

    2. Yes again. Why, people?

    3. Luckily this does not seem to be occuring in Scotland. Yet.

    4. I actually have seen some attractive men with less attractive women...I guess one just has to hope that most people do realise that it is what is on the inside that counts. And we all know how someone who is conventionally very attractive can actually not look so good once you know their personality.

  12. I love love love these posts! They just make me chuckle, especially since you've taken issue with a lot of current trends that are seriously silly, (but no one seems to notice!!)... I first fell for your wicked sarcasm when I followed a link you your blog post about how flipping annoying cats/cat posts are. LOVE that! Look- I have three cats, but I don't want to see pictures of them all day on otherwise perfectly charming blogs! :)

    Anyhoo- just a "keep up the good work" brilliant thought. Good day!

  13. So they did a study recently and found couples are happier, last longer and are more secure is the lady is hotter. :) Awesome post