Tuesday, August 27, 2013
A life lesson
All things bacon flavoured should steer clear of your mouth. That's right, put the simulated bacon bits down, my friends. Why? Because it's sacrilege to eat that junk. Bacon, the real stuff, is a gift from the holy pig gods, so eating the fake stuff is like a vicious slap in the ass for those porkers. They just don't like it. Plus, no matter what it is, you'll regret eating something that is only vaguely reminiscent of the glory that is bacon. I mean, bacon flavouring is gross, guys. It doesn't taste anything like the glorious, greasy, salty goodness it's supposed to.
To top it all off, in the news today, it turns out it was maple bacon jam that got all those cronut eating wackos sick at the CNE last week. So there you have it, fake bacon products at it again.
Save yourself the misery and just eat bacon, won't you?
**This post includes only my own views. I was not asked to rave about the deliciousness that is bacon by any bacon manufacturers or pig farmers, although I did see the holy pig gods in a dream last night.**